Plates
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Monday, 19 February 07 - 08:56 PM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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My wife has started buying L-Shaped dinner plates, because now when she throws them at me and they miss, they come back to her.
Kyle
My Car
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Monday, 19 February 07 - 09:46 AM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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I think it is time to replace my car. I started it up this morning and it puffed out so much white smoke, that all the catholics in my neighbourhood thought a new Pope had been elected.
Kyle
Mr. Latham's Fish
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Sunday, 18 February 07 - 12:41 PM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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My wife was recently being wheeled into a day surgery at a local Christchurch private hospital. As I watched her being trundled in, I noticed a fish tank at the entrance to the surgery, full of fish, doing what fish do (what exactly, I do not know, just don't drink the water according to W.C. Fields). On the tank was a gold plaque which read "These fish were donated by the late Mr. Latham.". The Late? I asked the Nurse, "Didn't Mister Latham make it out of surgery?".
"I don't know" came the reply.
"Wouldn't it have been better to have on the plaque, 'Donated by the very alive and still kicking Mr. Latham"? The nurse said, out of the thousands of people who have gone through the surgery in the ten years it had been running, I was the first one to mention that. I asked her was Mr. Latham in surgery when he started being called into the light? "Look after my fish...." was his dying wish apparantely.
So, if you're ever in St. George's (whoops!) Hospital in Christchurch, ask where Mr. Latham's Fish in the day ward are and tell them Kyle said hello.
Kyle
Hard to Open Toys
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Friday, 16 February 07 - 01:26 PM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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Radio DJs
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Thursday, 15 February 07 - 03:44 PM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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There are a few radio DJs on rather prominent radio stations who think they are funny just by reading material they have downloaded from the Internet and honking a horn at the end of their delivery. They have a stooge (sometimes the producer) on air with them and their job is to laugh at this rubbish. There is nothing better on a radio show when the chemistry between to on air personalities is so good they just sparkle and crackle and the banter flows between them at a rapid rate of knots. I am seeing this sort of magic, less and less as generic DJs come on the air with no personality.
There is also nothing worse to me than a DJ who has nothing to say and just rambles. There is one particular DJ on a radio station here in NZ who lives to repeat himself. "Yes, its 21 degrees out there. 21 degrees, not 22 or 20, but 21. Thats 2...1.... and we have some videos to give away today with Hugh Grant, No not Cary Grant, Hugh Grant, Yes Hugh Grant. Not Cary Grant....." This is so painful, I just flick off until the music comes back on again. Not every DJ has to try and mimic Robin Williams' Adrian Cronauer from Good Morning Vietnam. These are the DJs who fill their slots up with Joke of the Week, or stupid games.
Also, what happened to Radio stations playing some of the B-Sides of records. I am going to hang myself next time I hear "Pretty Woman". Also, Roy Orbison was blind, so how did he know she was pretty? If he had honest friends, then the song may have simply been called "Oh my God".
Some of the DJs on New Zealand Radio are old and you can almost smell them decaying as you listen. I am off home now and going to tune in my radio in to an all music station so I don't have to listen to any drivel.
Contents of this Blog
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Thursday, 15 February 07 - 02:44 PM (GMT +12:00) By kyle southam in Musings |
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In this section I will be rambling in a stream of consciousness fashion, so please ignore the spelling. The majority of this rubbish is original to myself, so if you deem it amusing and you think you may wish to use it in a stand up act, or some such Gong Show, then please just drop me a pleasant email and there should be no issue. I would just appreciate knowing it has been used and also, if God willing, there does prove to be a demand, I can let people know that items have been "borrowed".
Regards,
Kyle
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